Sad Little Girl; Consider This

Consider this: When Sad Little Girl was in Kinder Garden she and her Dad would sing songs on the way there. Weird strange songs like “My Bonnie Lies over the Ocean”, “Red Robin”, Row, Row, Row Your Boat”…. Part of the lyrics to Red Robin were: "The north wind will blow and we shall have snow. What will the poor Robin do then, do then? He’ll sit in the barn and keep himself warm. And hide his head under his wing, poor thing." This was Sad Little Girl's favorite song they sang. She had no idea what she was singing she just could completely see the image of that Red Robin, and she loved the color red. But it was a sad song. Sad or not those moments of singing with her Dad were vivid memories, happy memories. She felt happy in that car singing. Her Dad would then drop her off and the angst would start. She was in love with Bobby. Bobby was in love with Amy. So every day Sad Little Girl would feel the pain of rejection. Yes, Judgers at 5 she was feeling intense rejection pain. Amy was beautiful with long blond hair and ribbons AND she was nice. The perfect person to hate. Mainly, because Sad Little Girl was only cute, only cute with very short hair and those stupid ½ bangs. She hated the way she looked and she was pretty sure everyone thought she was a boy. However, she was smart. Even at 5 she somehow knew the way to get Bobby was through Amy. So she would sit beside Amy and compliment her. And Amy was so nice, she let her. Sometime around the 1st of September that year Sad Little Girl's teacher told them for Halloween there was going to be a big pageant and they were all going to be animals. She was super excited. This would be her chance to get Bobby. She could dress as something incredibly beautiful and he’d never notice she looked like a boy. The only catch was the teacher would decide what they would be. She put little pictures of the choices up on the wall and there it was, a swan. SWAN! A beautiful white swan. That is what Sad Little Girl would be. She knew it! She would be stunning. She began practicing to be a swan. She would swim around the classroom feeling glorious. Amy would watch her mesmerized. Bobby would still watch Amy mesmerized. Sad Little Girl didn’t care. She knew he would love her the night of the pageant. A few days into her swan dancing Amy started swan dancing too. She would swim with Sad Little Girl. Her long blond hair flowing. And Sad Little Girl had to admit Amy was a very good swan. Then the day came when the teacher was to tell the children what they would be. As she went down the list she got to Amy and she said, “Amy you will be the swan.” Then she looked at Sad Little Girl and said, “And Sad Little Girl you will be the skunk and sing a solo.” the SKUNK. The SKUNK. The SKUNK. The SKUNK………… Sad Little Girl went into deep despair. Her mother got busy making her skunk costume not understanding how devastated she was. Her mom kept saying, “You will be so adorable. You realize not many people can pull off being a skunk. Skunks have power. They can defeat anything and still be so adorable.” Her Dad soon joined in and started telling her all kinds of facts about skunks that made them great. The night of the pageant Sad Little Girl put on her skunk costume and looked at herself in the mirror hearing her Mom and Dad's voices in her head and she told herself, “Out of all the animals in the world you are special.” Sad Little Girl looked at her eyes in the mirror and they were sparkling as only the way a skunk's eyes could sparkle... They drove to the pageant in silence. When they got there all the animals were running around the room except Amy. Amy was hunched over in the corner so Sad Little Girl went over to her. “I can’t do it”, Amy said. ”I can’t go on the stage. I’m afraid.” “Sure you can,” Sad Little Girl said not hating her quite as much as usual. “No, no I can’t. I can't swim without you." Sad Little Girl grabbed her hand and lead her on stage. They held hands through the whole pageant, even when Sad Little Girl sang her solo. Her solo about being a stinky skunk. The parents laughed and cheered and afterwards they came up to Sad Little Girl and told her how great she was. Consider This: Sad Little Girl's parents knew this was a crossroads for Sad Little Girl and she could be destroyed. They were paying attention. Consider this: Through deep despair and angst Sad Little Girl found a way to be happy being a skunk instead of a swan. Through deep despair she helped her enemy who seemed to have everything but she realized was in just as much despair as she was. Consider this: The north wind shall blow and we shall have snow. What will the poor Robin do then, do then? Well, he won’t stay outside and die. He will get his ass...but in the barn and survive. He will find a way to be strong even at 5. Consider this: Bobby never ever loved Sad Little Girl. But on that night, that pageant night, helping someone in more despair than herself Sad Little Girl learned to love her Sad Little Self. Skunk and all.