BALLOON take me away!

This friendship thing wasn't all that easy for Sad Little Girl. She was used to being a loner, living in her head thinking about destroying the world. But something bothersome had happened Sad Little girl had become pretty good friends with Amy. Even though Amy got to be the swan in the Kinder Garden pageant and Sad Little Girl had to be the skunk. Sad Little Girl had come to terms with that. Swans were pretty mean birds. Sad Little Girl looked that shit....stuff up on Google. So she had inside info that she kept in her Sad Little head. Info she could tap into anytime she felt inferior to beautiful Amy. Plus Amy had begun to worship Sad Little Girl. Probably because Sad Little Girl had helped her get over her stage fright. Even so Sad Little Girl was a loner and she knew Amy’s days had to be numbered so Sad Little Girl could continue her plans to destroy the world. These days Amy had started to invite Sad Little Girl over to her house for play dates. Sad Little Girl soon realized Amy’s mom was bonkers. She would run around the house in her slip, slurring her words for some strange reason, and acting like a maniac. Sometimes she would shove Amy which really pissed off…made Sad Little Girl mad. On one such visit to Amy’s house, Amy’s mom came outside where Sad Little Girl and Amy were playing “Rescue Barbie from Ken drowning her in the kiddie pool." She stumbled up to Amy and Sad Little Girl pushed Amy and said,”Ya know I can fly, right?” “Mom go away”, said Amy dejectedly. “You know I can FLY!” said Amy’s mom again. “Watch!” Amy’s mom started floating up in the air. What the hell…heck was going on?!? Amy’s Mom was floating about 3 feet up in the air. She floated down and screamed at Amy. ”You are such a doubter. You will never get anywhere in life!” All of a sudden Sad Little Girl got clarity on why Amy was so not confidant...unconfident. As Amy’s mom stumbled into the house Sad Little Girl turned to Amy and said, “Maybe we can fly. I mean if your Mom can do it we must be able to. ‘Cause we’re much lighter than she is!” Amy just shook her head and said sadly, “Mom is full of hot air. Besides I’ve tried and I can’t. I wish I could because I would fly far away from here.” “Well I think we can!” said Sad Little Girl fervently. When Sad Little Girl went home that day she was determined to Figure out flying. Then she would go back to Amy’s and help Amy fly away. The next day Sad Little girl started her mission of trying to fly. She walked down to the store on the corner where they sold balloons and string. She got 1 helium balloon, several balloons not blown up and a spool of string. When she got home she took the helium balloon and attached the toy she most didn’t care about to it. My Little Pony. “Seriously, what is My Little Pony?” thought Sad Little Girl. “It is MY fucking…frickin’ Little Pony. Why did they name it something so obvious?” Sad Little Girl often had tirades like that in her Sad Little Head. She tried not to say these things out loud because it made people uncomfortable. As she let go of My Little Pony it flew away. “Good riddance,” thought Sad Little Girl. “Now I can let that bone go.” Sad Little Girl now had a plan. A plan that would help both Sad Little Girl and Amy. The next day Sad Little Girl called Amy and asked if she could come over. “Sure” said Amy, “But my Mom is kinda stumbling, just so you know.” Sad Little girl packed the balloons and the string in her backpack and got on her bike and peddled over. When she got to Amy’s house no one answered the door so she walked into the house, through it and out to the back yard. There she found Amy and her mom. Amy’s mom was poking Amy with a stick calling her a piñata. Looking at Amy’s mom poking Amy Sad Little Girl’s plans changed. “What do you want?” said Amy’s mom slurring. “Hi Amy’s mom! I want you to blow up these balloons!” Sad Little Girl said. Giving Amy’s Mom one of her very infrequent Sad Little Smiles. “No problem! Just remember you will owe me something for blowing up these balloons. Maybe some house chores or cleaning clothes.” “Of course.” said Sad Little Girl. Thinking what a complete fucking loser…putz Amy’s mom was. Amy’s mom started blowing up balloons and as she did it Sad Little girl would tie them to Amy’s mom’s wrist. On the fifteenth balloon Amy’s mom started rising up in the air. But this time she didn’t stop at 3 feet. She kept rising higher and higher. All that hot hair from her breath made the balloons carry her up in the air. And Amy’s mom started screaming to get her down. But Sad Little Girl and Amy happily just watched her float away. “Well that problem's solved. Maybe she’ll find My Little fucking Pony.” Sad Little Girl thought. “Amy, you will have to come live with me. But understand I am going to destroy…save the world and you are going to be my helper.” Sad Little Girl had changed her mind about destroying the world. “What the fuck…fudge is happening in my head?” Thought Sad Little Girl. She felt something in her heart when she helped Amy get rid of her shitty….bad mom. “OK” said Amy. “Bring your Swan costume. You’re going to need it!” And that’s how The Skunk and The Swan became super heroes in Sad Little Girl's Sad Little Town. When they got back to Sad Little Girl’s house Sad Little Girl saw that My Little Pony somehow had ended up back in Sad Little Girl’s yard. Amy’s mom was never seen again. She was so full of hot air and fumes she probably would never come down. Of course a great story can’t end that way……

Sad Little Girl; Consider This

Consider this: When Sad Little Girl was in Kinder Garden she and her Dad would sing songs on the way there. Weird strange songs like “My Bonnie Lies over the Ocean”, “Red Robin”, Row, Row, Row Your Boat”…. Part of the lyrics to Red Robin were: "The north wind will blow and we shall have snow. What will the poor Robin do then, do then? He’ll sit in the barn and keep himself warm. And hide his head under his wing, poor thing." This was Sad Little Girl's favorite song they sang. She had no idea what she was singing she just could completely see the image of that Red Robin, and she loved the color red. But it was a sad song. Sad or not those moments of singing with her Dad were vivid memories, happy memories. She felt happy in that car singing. Her Dad would then drop her off and the angst would start. She was in love with Bobby. Bobby was in love with Amy. So every day Sad Little Girl would feel the pain of rejection. Yes, Judgers at 5 she was feeling intense rejection pain. Amy was beautiful with long blond hair and ribbons AND she was nice. The perfect person to hate. Mainly, because Sad Little Girl was only cute, only cute with very short hair and those stupid ½ bangs. She hated the way she looked and she was pretty sure everyone thought she was a boy. However, she was smart. Even at 5 she somehow knew the way to get Bobby was through Amy. So she would sit beside Amy and compliment her. And Amy was so nice, she let her. Sometime around the 1st of September that year Sad Little Girl's teacher told them for Halloween there was going to be a big pageant and they were all going to be animals. She was super excited. This would be her chance to get Bobby. She could dress as something incredibly beautiful and he’d never notice she looked like a boy. The only catch was the teacher would decide what they would be. She put little pictures of the choices up on the wall and there it was, a swan. SWAN! A beautiful white swan. That is what Sad Little Girl would be. She knew it! She would be stunning. She began practicing to be a swan. She would swim around the classroom feeling glorious. Amy would watch her mesmerized. Bobby would still watch Amy mesmerized. Sad Little Girl didn’t care. She knew he would love her the night of the pageant. A few days into her swan dancing Amy started swan dancing too. She would swim with Sad Little Girl. Her long blond hair flowing. And Sad Little Girl had to admit Amy was a very good swan. Then the day came when the teacher was to tell the children what they would be. As she went down the list she got to Amy and she said, “Amy you will be the swan.” Then she looked at Sad Little Girl and said, “And Sad Little Girl you will be the skunk and sing a solo.” the SKUNK. The SKUNK. The SKUNK. The SKUNK………… Sad Little Girl went into deep despair. Her mother got busy making her skunk costume not understanding how devastated she was. Her mom kept saying, “You will be so adorable. You realize not many people can pull off being a skunk. Skunks have power. They can defeat anything and still be so adorable.” Her Dad soon joined in and started telling her all kinds of facts about skunks that made them great. The night of the pageant Sad Little Girl put on her skunk costume and looked at herself in the mirror hearing her Mom and Dad's voices in her head and she told herself, “Out of all the animals in the world you are special.” Sad Little Girl looked at her eyes in the mirror and they were sparkling as only the way a skunk's eyes could sparkle... They drove to the pageant in silence. When they got there all the animals were running around the room except Amy. Amy was hunched over in the corner so Sad Little Girl went over to her. “I can’t do it”, Amy said. ”I can’t go on the stage. I’m afraid.” “Sure you can,” Sad Little Girl said not hating her quite as much as usual. “No, no I can’t. I can't swim without you." Sad Little Girl grabbed her hand and lead her on stage. They held hands through the whole pageant, even when Sad Little Girl sang her solo. Her solo about being a stinky skunk. The parents laughed and cheered and afterwards they came up to Sad Little Girl and told her how great she was. Consider This: Sad Little Girl's parents knew this was a crossroads for Sad Little Girl and she could be destroyed. They were paying attention. Consider this: Through deep despair and angst Sad Little Girl found a way to be happy being a skunk instead of a swan. Through deep despair she helped her enemy who seemed to have everything but she realized was in just as much despair as she was. Consider this: The north wind shall blow and we shall have snow. What will the poor Robin do then, do then? Well, he won’t stay outside and die. He will get his ass...but in the barn and survive. He will find a way to be strong even at 5. Consider this: Bobby never ever loved Sad Little Girl. But on that night, that pageant night, helping someone in more despair than herself Sad Little Girl learned to love her Sad Little Self. Skunk and all.